really weird to think that samus aran, the woman who was raised by alien birds and has had to fight multiple parasitic alien clones of herself, probably has had the most normal life out of all the major nintendo protagonists
Mario: *teams up with a baby version of himself to fight alien mushroom people*
Link: *gets transformed into a wolf by traveling between different dimensions due to shadow magic*
Kirby: *has a rogues gallery consisting of everything from a magician cartoon mouse to reality-warping god machines that live in space*
Samus Aran: *goes to an alien planet, beats up some jerks, collects her paycheck, goes home and reheats some leftover ravioli and passes out in front of the tv*
The only reason Samus wears the Zero Suit for Smash Bros is so nobody knows her real off-mission wardrobe is an oversized t-shirt with an unidentifiable stain near the collar and a pair of shorts with the word “JUICY” written in an alien language written across the butt
I had to draw her and add some smudged mascara. You KNOW shes too lazy to wash off her makeup after smash
one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england
getting pretty tired of people vandalizing the austin powers wiki
You know what. This post really unsettled me because back in like june or july i vandalized the austin power fan wiki and on austin powers’ page i changed his name to “Steve Harvey” and under his alias i put “Mr. Fuck” and other things. I think you know. I’m so fucking sorry hotbobby
